Hope for Those Demented Mormon Elders

A friend of mine who works with intellectual property called my attention to a Japanese patent application that he felt might be helpful for Mormon missionaries and other Elders in the Church. The patent is an international application listed as WO 2005/049059A1, “Perfume for Improving the Behavior of Demented Elders.” Well, if it works, it could come in handy for those occasional problem missionaries. Come to think of it, maybe all elders and high priests should use this concoction — after all, we’re all demented according to some experts.

Here is the abstract from the application:

The present invention provides a technique for enhancing the emotion, consciousness and volition of demented elders more simply and safely and improving their behavior. A perfume for improving the behavior of demented elders is disclosed which contains an essential oil(s) derived from one or more plants selected from the group consisting of cinnamon (Cinnamomum zeylanicum), grapefruit (Citrus paradisi), jasmine (Jasminum officinale var. grandiflorum) and peppermint (Mentha piperita var. vulgaris).

Well, I’m willing to try this. Many thanks to the fine inventors at Takasago International of Japan. Just one more example of what can be achieved by cultural alliances that transcend religious and national boundaries.


Author: Jeff Lindsay

3 thoughts on “Hope for Those Demented Mormon Elders

  1. And to think this little bit of humor could have been avoided if the authors of the article had simply used a more culturally sensitive term such as “demented geezers.” 🙂

  2. It’s a fun oddity that most of the Elders in the church aren’t yet elders, and that most of the elders in the Church are no longer Elders.

    I became a High Priest a few years ago, at age 35. I’ve been trying to stay awake in Priesthood meetings ever since. 🙂

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