Many times I’ve been tempted to turn off anonymous comments here at Mormanity, but I’ve kept them available because it makes it more convenient and less risky for people to participate in discussions. Sometimes, though, anonymity is used as a mask to make really unkind or idiotic statements that people probably wouldn’t make if some aspect of their identity or their web presence were linked to their words. Comments like that are often deleted, but fortunately nearly all of the participants here rise above that level. One nasty anonymous comment, though, tempted me to remind the offender that anonymous comments aren’t necessarily totally anonymous in this age. The temptation came in the form of thoughts of a playful prank.
So after steaming over a vile anonymous comment that needed a more vigorous response than deletion alone, I called up my friend “Lennon” (not his real name, at least not his real spelling) at Homeland Security.
“Lennon, can you help me out? I just received a vile anonymous comment on my Mormanity blog and thought it would be cool to scare that guy by coming right back with something like, ‘Well, Anonymous, or should I say Frank, I see you’re posting from a trailer home in Billings, Montana. Here’s a tip: get rid of the plaid shirt. It makes you look fat.'”
I could heard Lennon typing for a moment, then he paused. “Jeff, dude, that would be totally wrong.”
“Wrong? Wrong? Actually, I’m relieved to hear you use that word! Well, I guess I’m glad to see that you folks at Homeland Security still have moral–”
“No, dude, I mean you’d be totally wrong. His name isn’t Frank, it’s Cecil, and he’s in a pretty sweet condo in San Mateo. I don’t have a good cam feed but he wasn’t in plaid last time we got a view. But you don’t know that and didn’t hear it from me. Oh, and thanks. I see the Paypal gift just showed up. Gotta get back to monitoring some Swedes in Manhattan.”
So, recently deleted Anonymous, or shall I say Cecil, have a happy 4th of July. Enjoy your freedom, America. And keep those anonymous comments coming … while you still can.
Ok, that was just ROFLAwesome
For real?! I wish I had connections like that….
I hope this post was just one big joke about being paranoid about the government, because if it wasn't, we're really screwed!
Funny, ha ha, that made me sick. Even the thought that the government could do something like that is just awful, even though I'm sure you're just pulling a fast one.
Enjoy your freedom, America […] while you still can.
Fixed.
Makes me think of Helaman 6:38
And it came to pass on the other hand, that the Nephites did build them up and support them, beginning at the more wicked part of them, until they had overspread all the land of the Nephites, and had seduced the more part of the righteous until they had come down to believe in their works and partake of their spoils, and to join with them in their secret murders and combinations.
Did this really happen? Um, um, um, well, what can I say–thank you for asking! I am not prepared to confirm nor deny that I may have taken some slight liberties with reality in sharing that conversation.
Just remember, the invasion of privacy is totally for your own good, so be grateful.
"Just remember, the invasion of privacy is totally for your own good, so be grateful."
Why am I not surprised with this attitude among LDS?
I need to go vomit.
Just remember, the invasion of privacy is totally for your own good, so be grateful.
Holy moly, Jeff Lindsay, did you really just say that? Wow. Wow. I don't know what to say. Wow. You like 1984? Wow. Wow.
I follow this blog to balance out other blogs that aren't so faithful in mormonism. You have really turned me off Jeff Lindsay. I just don't know what to say.
There really are some bad bad people out there who hate Mormons. I'm not sure what happened to this one kid, but several years ago I had a kid tell me he was going to kill me several times. And in great detail, he told me the date, the manner of assasination, the time, all out in public for all to see. It ended up making him put me on ignore because when October 15th came and went, I hounded that guy for days asking questions like, "Did you mean October 15th of next year? Why didn't you kill me" I think he thought the threats would make me run and hide and close down my account.
This kid obviously wasn't for real, but what in the world makes someone think they can say anything at all on the internet like this? I guess we should all enjoy our freedom while it lasts, because it's only a matter of time before this internet freedom goes away.
Jon, Jeff, chill. That was sarcasm. Don't you get the point from the post and the comment that I'm strongly opposed to the invasion of privacy that is occurring in the name of "protecting" us?
This is not the right blog to be reading if you lack of a sense of humor.
I can see the delusions you believe in through your brand of sarcasm. This Brother Lindsay fellow is in denial. He is a 1984 big brother worshiper, who most likely feels patriotic when our troops goes off to fight and kill women and children who did nothing to do the with the so call war on terror on al Qaeda which was created by guess who… the CIA. He must think "It is sad but all to necessary for our freedoms"….It is all a sham and a lie and this guy believes in their secret murders and combinations and I have no doubt he thinks we should be grateful for it all. (vomit)
You know Orrin Hatch has paved a way for the NSA to build a huge campus to do nothing but the business of invasion of privacy and unrighteous dominion….well guess what? That NSA campus being built is now a new class A nuclear target for all the enemies the USA has created by years of unrighteous dominion and force. The people of this country and especially my fellow LDS members are getting the result of their choices and it clear they have been seduced over the years by the latter-day gadiantons in the government of our day. They believe in their secret murders and secret combinantions.
Has an "all is well in Zion, yea Zion prospereth" attitude has slip into his heart?
His blog posts gets me wondering about him, there are red flags everywhere on his blog.
WAKE UP BROTHER!!!
Jon,
check out http://barerecord.blogspot.com/
this blog will not speak smooth things to you but the person who this blog belongs to is a LDS member who is true and faithful but is also awake to the awful situation when find ourselves.
Brother Lindsay just so you know I think you have a good heart and you have some wonderful things to offer, so thank you.
Little jeff, the one ranting about big brother, have you read anything Mormanity Jeff has written?? You are way off and really offensive in your rant. Wake up, brother.
I liked your post, and I liked your sarcasm. Anti-Mormons are so obsessed with making Mormons look bad they make themselves look like complete idiots.
This looks like a fun post!
I would say we all need to wake up!
By the way one of the blogger followers on the right side of this blog is a woman in underware and has a link to a porn blog, anyway to get rid of that????
Jeff Lindsay,
We've had blogversations about this stuff before and you've sided on the side of big government so I didn't know where you stood. This post did seem a bit unbelievable so I didn't know what to believe. And sarcasm is hard to catch on to when there is no smiley face next to it.
Glad you don't really think that is OK.
What can I see? Please don't tell mum, she'd have a heart attack
say*
Offensive follower was blocked, but not tackled. Thanks the alert.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Don't post Youtube video links here. I don't have time to review them in most cases. My policy is not to allow them. Just deleted one that was rather off-topic.
Jon, what's this about me being on the side of big government in past blogversations? Can you tell me what you're talking about? Something specific that you can back up? I don't think that describes me very well.
I was referring to the one on the border, something about airports and scanning for people being sick. I think there was a different one too. Of course, my political persuasion is towards voluntaryism so it's pretty difficult to want smaller government than I want.
Yes, I remember the one that you ended up taking down that was wanting smaller government, but that was for socialized medicine or welfare. I would prefer no socialized anything, like no socialized police, military, etc. I don't believe in using violence as a means to an end is right in any circumstance unless the party you are using it against was the first to use aggression and, of course, that is qualified per D&C 98.
Jon, are you referring to my several complaints about TSA and invasion of privacy? I hope you didn't somehow think that was pro-Big Brother/Big Government. I do not support encroachments on personal liberty by excessively big government and am really perplexed about why you would make such accusations. Maybe it was someone else's blog linked to from my site? Maybe something from Mitt Romney? Really, I'm not him. I don't even like jet skis.
OK Jeff Lindsay here is where we had that blogversation where you chose the side of big government:
http://mormanity.blogspot.com/2012/02/church-statement-on-immigration-and.html
BTW, I do applaud that you are mostly against the "state." I'm OK with government as long as it stays in the confines of natural law (apparently something that many people don't believe anymore).
What is the "state?" The "state" is whenever government does something that is contrary to natural law. An example of this? Taxes that are not voluntary (of course, they wouldn't be called taxes anymore if they were voluntary). As, I believe, Benson said, the government can't do anything that an individual isn't allowed to do under natural law. So, if you Brother Lindsay, agree with these statements, then I'll agree that you are not for big government.
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