Mormon Jeopardy

A friend at work quizzed me today about Ken Jennings, the amazing Jeopardy contestant who has been taking America by storm – obviously part of some vast Mormon conspiracy. My friend didn’t say that, but was tremendously impressed with the intellect and demeanor of Brother Jennings, who struck him as a truly decent and impressive guy. I noticed a blog post on Ken Jennings by fellow LDS blogger Kim Siever, who called attention to an article in The Salt Lake Tribune. Nice story!

Being the fair and objective LDS apologist that I am, I feel obligated to provide both sides of the story. I contacted my good buddies at the Saints Alive Total Anticult Network (still located in Hell, Michigan) to get their take. They are still working on the press release, but gave me some highlights to paraphrase:

The good people at S.A.T.A.N. contend that Ken Jennings is part of the Church’s contrived media blitz to create the impression that Mormons are likeable and intelligent people. Nobody is really that smart and that nice! Everybody knows that Mormons have minimal intelligence, so the whole thing is obviously rigged. It may even be that Jennings has borrowed the Urim and Thummim from President Hinckley, allowing him to obtain demonic access to information long before other contestants. In fact, Ken Jennings may even be the great 666 in Revelation. His fans are the ones who really putting their souls in jeopardy! He should not be allowed to play unless first searched for illegal revelatory devices, and inspected for the mark of the beast (believed to resemble the logo of either CBS or MTV). And to make sure that the questions are fair, anti-Mormons should be allowed to submit questions about current events, like Mormon underwear and polygamy. Now that would be a game show!

Now you know the rest of the story.

Good luck, Brother Jennings, and may the daily double always be yours. As for the rest of you, what are doing, sitting around surfing the Web? Get away from that computer and read a book! Follow Brother Jennings’ example and learn something for a change (a whole lot of change).


Author: Jeff Lindsay

5 thoughts on “Mormon Jeopardy

  1. HAHAHAHAA! Man, are these people desperate for attention or what?! I could hardly read their statement, I was laughing so hard!

  2. I’m sorry. There are times that I may get a bit carried away, and I think that was one of those times. Chalk up another oops for me! ^_^

  3. I am disgusted the rude things said on here. First of all “Mormon” is slang. We prefer to be called LDS. This is disgusting humour
    Latter Day Saints as we are called are like any other person. We are no dumber or smarter than the average person. We do not force our religion on others but we claim the privlege of worshipping God. I can not say that Ken Jennings is not cheating but I can say the urim and thumin is not on the earth at the present time. I would like you to understand that we love our prophet and that comment about Gordon B Hinkley was insulting. Please remember this next time you decide to put up a post.

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